… like that song by Usher?

Was planning on posting my resolutions, but thought better of it, as this year I’ll be keeping them between me and my successes, right next to that unopened bottle of henn and the keys to my forest green jag. Instead, Imma start off ahead of the game and post my christmas wish list (for next year). so that when mom and dad figure out google and find my ass, they’ll know what to send me. hurr goes. (in no particular order)
10. Jean Underwear, one pair. – no explanation required.
9. Motzarella Sticks, three. – from Jack in tha Box, as they allow you to order in said quantity.
8. Street Meat, fucking many- those dawgs are delicious. and i haven’t had one for months, i kinda tapered off with em after i met el farolito. but that bacon wrapped goodness needs to come back to me this year. there’s a void. right above my belt. where the bluubs should be at.
7. Super Veggie Burritos, plenty – because they (the el farlito-ans) do something so wrong that it’s right to that rice. And because the cash register guy’s hair is so thick that his scalp has NEVER seen the light of day.
6. Skills and Abilities, myriad - like tight-rope walking, back flipping, calculus, advanced dick handling, and bionic hearing.
5. Personal Librarian, one- do you know anyone with their own, personal, librarian? me neither. and i want one. for christmas next year. i’ll totally win book club.
4. Asian Panda, twins- awwwwwwww. best pet ever, don’t you think?
3. Bamboo Shoots, ten year supply X two – for Bernie and George Foreman, my Asian Panda Twins.
2. Readers, 3 dozen – By next christmas, i figure that my head will be securely attached to my shoulders and i’ll be self-aware enough to put something out there that’s nice and…. safe.
and finally….
1. An extra limb, one. – just in case, yadadamean.


